A Love Letter to Yellow Diamond
by Pappillon
Summary: Blue Diamond shares her feelings. (Now featuring other Diamond one shots.)
1. A Love Letter to Yellow Diamond

I think I've always been at least a little crazy about you. It seems to fluctuate, but throughout the course of my life, it's ranged from admiration to being absolutely infatuated. Sometimes you would catch my eye, and I ended up staring. You might be standing near a window, thinking, and your gem would capture the light and all of you sparkled. You were like a ray of sunshine.

One time you asked me what my favorite thing about you was. I was caught off guard, not because I hadn't thought about it or that I didn't know. Trying to answer that question was like holding a handful of gorgeous jewels and being forced to select and keep just one. Saying "all of you" would have been too vague, naming one quality would be too shallow, and saying "I don't know" would be like saying, "Nothing at all."

So I stayed silent, in a panic that likely wasn't obvious. I might have made a noise at the back of my throat.

"I shouldn't have asked." You said. "That's a vain question."

"No. I'm just thinking. I could write a three volume series about all the things I like about you. But my favorite thing…My very favorite thing—that's a tough one."

Your cheeks had turned golden. That was one of them. I adored that—and you would always make this expression that was somewhat shy, but also flattered.

Thinking back on it—as charming as it was—I don't know that you understood your own emotions.

"I've decided my favorite thing about you."

We were lying in a pile of pillows, inside my chambers. We would end up making love, because we always did. But in that moment, we were still clothed and close together. You might have had one of your legs wrapped around me. I always loved that too.

"What is it?"

"Your eyes."

I laughed.

"I'm being serious, Blue. They're gorgeous." Your leg drew me in nearer, as if we could get any nearer. And you warmed me. I could feel the blood and the feelings rush into my face, and I wanted you. I suspect it was one of your powers; perhaps you didn't even know about it. But you seduced me every time, without fail.

You still do.

"I think it's because I had to wait to see them. You wouldn't take your cloak off around me until we had become quite close. Of course, I always knew you were lovely, but how lovely came as a shock. You looked exactly like the goddess your reputation alleged you to be, and I could finally see your beautiful eyes without a shadow over them—your long lashes and your shapely brows. I was grateful you had decided to show me. It took me a long while to get over them."

You kissed me, briefly, on the lips.

I left claw marks on your back.

"That's not to say that I don't like all of your others features. I love everything about you. But your eyes…They calm me. You calm me."

"Darling."

Of course, we ended up making out. I'm not sure which one of us initiated it. It could have been me, but you usually instigated such things. Maybe we both leaned in at exactly the same time because we both wanted one another. Though, in my case, I needed to have your tongue in my mouth and your fingers between my legs, and you arms around me—all of it. I needed all of you.

You must have known; perhaps you planned it. You didn't seem to be particularly troubled by the fact that I never really answered your question. You could have brought it up just to tell me your favorite thing—the same way you might ask someone their opinion for the purpose of stating yours.

But I had wanted to share all of my favorite things about you, especially after you had said such kind words. Like how I loved your eyes too, and your confidence. Your strength. Your energy. Your outfits. Your hair. The way you blushed. The way you smiled, especially at me. How cute you were, when you were just relaxing—something that took you some practice, by the way. Or even when you were going off about something. I loved the expressions you would make, and how you were completely oblivious to how funny and dramatic some of them were. I loved (and still love) your neck, even though you seemed to be self-conscious of it sometimes. I loved your body; I loved your mind. I loved how you could excite me into delirium when you would so much as hold me or look at me with that certain spark in your eyes.

No one before or since has made me feel that way.

I loved how we could completely lose ourselves in one another, whether we were joking and laughing, fusing, or making love. It always seemed like after all of it, when we had to go our separate ways, that I was waking up from a dream. I would see myself later, in a mirror and count all the passionate bruises you had left me—some of which I didn't remember receiving. You marked my neck, my breasts, my thighs. You swelled my tongue and spanked me raw.

And when the cool air would settle around your affectionate wounds, it would remind me of your fire, and I longed for more of it. Especially your sounds—as I pulled your hair and bit your neck and placed the palm of my hand over your diamond—they echoed throughout my mind. You were always so goddamn loud, and I loved that too.

But one thing that drove me up the wall is how, after a passionate session, you always had to leave so soon.

You did that day too.

I was in an exhausted pile among my cushions, bruised and maybe a little bloody, catching my breath with your body on top of mine.

"Blue—"

I wrapped my legs around you. "Don't you leave." Then my arms. Even that took a lot out of me. I couldn't hold you very tightly. "Stay with me."

"I've stayed too long as it is, Love."

You, however, seemed to have plenty of energy.

"Yellow, make love to me again."

You laughed. "You're spent." And you kissed my cheek.

I was, but I would do just about anything to get you to stay, even though I was beginning to fall asleep.

"We'll see one another again soon."

"But I want to enjoy this moment with you, now."

You left me anyway, with a few touches of your lips. I didn't wake up until sometime later, with a very confused and concerned Pearl calling "My Diamond!"

I did earnestly believe your excuse: that you had so much to do you couldn't remain any longer. You were constantly working, after all. However, I think shame might have been a part of it. Of the few times you did stay, you seemed uncomfortable to have me touching you. I remember how you moved away and delegated yourself to holding my hand.

It's not because the sex was bad or that you didn't enjoy yourself. On the contrary, I think you enjoyed yourself more than you ever intended to; that you became so entranced that you lost yourself entirely, and that was a frightening thought for you. Doing this 'shameful' act that organic life forms take part to procreate was supposed to be well beneath us. We're Diamonds, after all. Yet, there you were, pinned against my pillows or my sheets or shoulder-deep in my bath, declaring your pleasure so liberally.

You hated that you loved every moment of it.

You hated how much you lost control, which is a shame. It seemed to me like it was cathartic for you, like it was something you desperately needed. But as soon as the high wore off and you transitioned from lover to empress, you realized what we had done. You saw the marks on my body, and on yours, and found them unbecoming of a queen.

Perhaps they were, but that was quite alright with me. I never really understood what there was to be ashamed of. It's not as though they came from another kind of gem—I'd love to see any of them try to mark you. The bruises came from one Diamond to another, and I wish you could have given me your heart more easily. Sometimes I felt as though it was my fault. Though, looking back now, I know that I had nothing to do with it. Those negative emotions, your hang-ups—they were all yours. I know you enjoyed our time together, even though you felt like you shouldn't have.

Even now, after everything, my heart aches for you, Yellow. It seems as though you're more buried in work than you ever were in the past. I was completely serious when I told you that you needed to make time for yourself, but perhaps you're more content, driving yourself into the ground and making the bags beneath your eyes grow larger.

I hope that isn't the case.

I'd be more than happy to fuck all your pain away, if you'd only let me.


	2. Electric Love

_You looked lovely that day. You always did, and I couldn't keep my attention off of you. Though, you seemed to suffer the same problem. It must have been easier for you, since that cloak did such an excellent job of censoring your eyes._

All three Diamonds sat inside the meeting room with a projection of all the recently discovered planets hovering in the center of the table, like a bowl of ripe fruit to be fought over. The disputes were frequently civil and each empress usually received a fair share, as attempting to adopt the entire basket would be too much work for any of them.

There was always enough; the colonies were sometimes like chains.

"Yellow, I think you should take this one. Given its resources, you would get the most out of it."

"Hmm?" Golden eyes came to greet silver ones. "Certainly."

White tilted her head and grinned. "Are you alright? You're usually much more aggressive when it comes to picking out new planets. I'm surprised I was even able to make the suggestion. I was sure you would try to snatch this one up immediately."

"Perhaps I would, had you not suggested I take it."

Blue's smile drew Yellow's eye.

"Very well then. Onto the next order of business—"

"My Diamond! Something requires your attention!" One of White's many Pearls came in and saluted immediately. "It's quite urgent, Madame."

"I'm in the middle of a meeting. It can't wait?"

"I'm afraid not, My Diamond."

The one empress turned to the others and dented her grey brows. "Ladies, if you'll excuse me a moment; I shouldn't be too long."

"Good luck." Yellow leaned back in her chair.

After a few vocal footsteps from excellent heels and the opening and closing of official doors, the other two were entirely alone in the silence White Diamond left and the clear light from outer space.

Blue Diamond, too, leaned back.

"You look lovely." And Yellow wove her fingers together.

"Is that the reason you keep looking over here? Not that I mind it—I just hope I'm not distracting you."

Plump lips folded at the edges and showed a small portion of perfect teeth. "You are, but there's nothing that can be done about it. Inevitably, you would distract me if I were sitting alone in my control room. You've been on my mind frequently, Blue."

"In that case, I'd like to apologize. That sounds terrible."

"Not at all. I enjoy thinking about you."

Blue made a lovely smile from her equally large lips. It left dimples in her cheeks as her gem picked up a little light and twinkled.

Yellow sparkled in turn as her gaze settled onto the one before her.

"Why don't you come visit me when you're done working for today? You've made your way into my thoughts as well. I'd enjoy seeing you, without this damn table between us."

"I suppose you aren't going to invite White Diamond?" Yellow leaned in.

"I'd appreciate it if you didn't mention it to her. She's fine, but you're the one I'd prefer to have over."

"You had better watch out, Blue Diamond. I might kiss you."

"Darling, why do you think I'm inviting you?"

Both Queens grinned at one another, with blush marking their faces like bursts of color freshly smeared onto a willing canvas. White came back in, and Yellow's focus lingered just a little too long upon the opposite Diamond's face.

"What are you two smiling about?"

"Jokes at your expense."

"Oh, stop." The third empress sat back at her seat. "I hope they were at least funny."

"They weren't. Most of them were tasteless and vulgar."

"Well. Let's resume, shall we?"

So they did, and soon after the meeting ended, Yellow Diamond found herself sneaking (as much as she could) to Blue's chambers. She endured many salutes and stray calls of 'My Diamond!' from legions of gems. Though, those changed upon her entrance to Blue Diamond's portion of Homeworld. The greetings were still equally respectful, but they warped in formation: they became, "Madame Yellow Diamond."

The gems there were shocked to see her.

The light blue Pearls welcomed Yellow with a quiet bow as the two enormous doors to those chambers opened. Her fashionable boots clacked out a steady rhythm upon the pristine tiles of Blue's floor. Then the azure queen, hearing her lover's music, appeared inside the enormous front room and glittered in the calm lighting.

"Yellow—" She held out those lovely arms.

Her guest filled them.

Their embrace endured a long while as the entire day melted off of both of them. Shoulders of both stark colors lowered.

"I thought it would be nice if we sit in my garden."

"That sounds lovely, Blue."

"Excellent. Follow me."

 _One thing I always admired about you was not only your sense of style, but your comfort as well. Your chambers always seemed so welcoming, with all of your beautiful art on the walls and soft lighting. Your garden was especially lovely. I've never been a fan of plants necessarily, but you tamed and organized them into a masterpiece._

When we sat down together I was taken aback.

"What do you think?"

They landed in the center of what was essentially a greenhouse with many different plants growing around them. Rich indigo flowers bloomed in many directions, arranged together by the centimeter to form a perfect pattern of many stripes and shapes. Amongst all the green and blue were specks of other colors as well—gold, white, and sometimes pink. They smelled of many perfumes and Yellow Diamond fell somewhat intoxicated beneath the light of a bright moon and its influence.

"You've implemented such order. It's beautiful."

"Thank you. Though, I can't take full credit. I have a few Pearls who maintain this place almost constantly. What I actually know about gardening is rather inadequate, yet I like to come here and think."

"I can see why. It's very calm."

"I'm glad it's to your liking. I wasn't sure how you would feel, Yellow."

"Don't you think I have an appreciation of beautiful things?"

"Of course; I just wasn't sure how you felt about plants."

"Like this, they're fine."

"Wonderful."

The conversation came to a comfortable silence. From the windows of Blue Diamond's green house, the stars wobbled gently in outer space while their light made love to the dark, colorful background. A cloud made of multiple elements shined far in the distance, in the low frequency of ruby red with a freckling of loud lights.

Slowly, Blue put her fingers upon Yellow's, and the azure goddess shook in reaction. Her vibrations were slight, but they still drew some electricity from the other's hand.

"What would you want to be if you weren't a Diamond?"

Yellow broke her gaze with the heavens and the plants to look into her companion's profile. She rolled her golden lips. "I've never considered such a question."

"Really? Never?"

Both were looking again into space.

"It's something I think about every once in a while. As morbid as it is, I wonder what it's like to die. Not a horrible, painful death, but an organic one—like a flower. They die all the time. It's hardly any time at all between their initial growth and their end, and yet, I feel like I've been here forever. Despite this short life, they require constant care, maintenance, and water. This simple idea baffles me to no end."

"Truly? If anyone, Blue, it seems that you would grasp such a concept the best."

"Why is that?"

Yellow's fingers contracted beneath the opposite Diamond's palm.

"You're such a hippy."

Blue laughed. "I suppose someone had to take Pink's place."

"She was too much of a hippy."

"True." The moon goddess turned to the sun. "Well, what would you be?"

"If I could be anything?"

"Yes; anything at all."

"Hmm." Yellow studied the contours of Blue's face beneath her veil and leaned back with a few complaints of the spine. "I'd want to be one of your Pearls."

"A Pearl?"

"No. I said one of your Pearls. In fact, your favorite Pearl. That way you might take me onto your lap and I could dare to glance upwards and see more of your beautiful face. I'd clear the hair out of my eyes, and you might even punish me for it, but even in another life I'd admire you too much to resist."

Blue Diamond was utterly silent.

Her face turned violet.

And gently fingering the folds of her veil, she turned away for a moment. "You would never be one of my Pearls."

"Oh? Why not?"

"It's simple. You're my Diamond."

It was then that Blue's face encountered a few of Yellow's fingers. The second she turned back around, her lips were met by another pair and a jolt of electricity.

And crazy arms that were pulling her in.

Three of her dark fingertips landed at one side of Yellow's slender neck.

They separated with a pop and a flash.

"Blue?"

"Yes, Yellow?"

"I'm glad we're both Diamonds."

The sun queen almost tasted her lover's laugh. "Even though I wonder sometimes, I'm glad we are too. I can't imagine wanting to be anything else."

Both of them were breathing slowly and audibly. Their enormous bodies quivered. Yellow dared herself a little closer.

"You know, you shocked me."

"When?"

"Just—"

But there was another little zap like candy in Blue's mouth as their lips came together again. Her now Violet face broke into a smile that was kindly interrupted by her electric lover's tongue. And this time, Blue's crazy arms pulled Yellow in, fingers making a home inside her rigid hair. Their diamonds even touched on a few occasions as they explored the coveted mysteries of one another's mouths.

Yellow's voltage came in stronger doses this time. It left Blue glowing.

"I told you I would end up kissing you."

"And I told you that's why I wanted you here."

It was not the last time that evening they would share a few millimeters of space and one another's flavor.


	3. Wish that You Were Here

All the Diamonds sat in the control room—all of them but Pink—as the great nothingness of silence stretched out between them. The only sounds were the absent-minded humming of the computers and the occasional sniff from White Diamond. She sometimes had to stop to wipe her knuckles beneath her nose and gulp down whatever had happened in her mouth.

She hadn't left her room in days. Only for this meeting did she go.

Her eyes wore red veins like a drug addict's would.

White cleared her feeble throat. "Uh—" But it failed and she had to start over. "I've spent a lot of time thinking about it." The words stopped there only to recommence a moment later. "Yellow, I think you should take her place as head of the military."

Yellow Diamond didn't quite respond. Her throat too, suffered through shifting gears. Soon enough White sucked in her lips and eventually shot her gaze into the smooth surface of the table. Yet again, the backs of her hands came to collect the water her icy silver eyes made.

The other Diamonds watched.

"I can't believe this—I was going to gift her armor. It was almost ready—"

Blue spoke up. "White, this is in no way your fault."

The paper-colored goddess pressed her face into her hands. "I know I'm asking a lot of you, Yellow, but I believe you would be best cut out for the job. You're the most efficient out of all of us. I'm sorry it has to be this way. I never thought—" The syllables left her again before she slammed her open palm on the table and shook the whole room. Even the computers seemed to quit babbling after that. " _I knew her gem was too low—but who would have thought? I was sure she would be fine! Can either of you believe this?! Please say something—_ "

"White." Blue Diamond reached beneath her veil and her fingers returned a little damp. "Neither of us can believe it. No one can."

For the last time, White mopped up her face. Her eyes showed pink and raw while her cheeks wore grey friction burns.

Was this the same Diamond who towered like a goddess and slayed in stilettos like a bad bitch? The same one who crossed her arms and demanded answers and enforced her rules?

Yellow Diamond's throat tightened until she felt a choking in that long, pretty neck.

They had ruined everything—those fuckers.

"Oh, Yellow."

The golden queen couldn't say anything. And the meeting ended and some time passed until she found herself in her chambers, picking at her nails until they bled. Her Pearls wandered aimlessly. She hadn't any orders for them, and all the rooms in her utilitarian palace remained spotless.

Yellow caught them dipping their heads in to look at her. As sly as they tried to be, their pointed noses gave them away every time. From the side of the door frame, Yellow caught the tip of their snouts and usually a single eye. If they met glances, the servant would disappear in an anxious flash with the pitter-patter of small feet echoing against the empty walls.

But Yellow never moved from her main room couch.

Eventually, one of the Pearls stood honestly inside her door, perfectly centered. "My Diamond, you have a visitor."

"Who?" The sound went on forever.

"Blue Diamond, Ma'am."

"Send her in."

The slave went away and the other queen arrived, walking so gracefully that she hardly seemed to be moving her legs. Blue stopped just a few steps inside Yellow's room. The doors shut slowly behind her and she removed her veil.

"Why didn't you call me? I could have been busy."

"I wanted to see you in person. If I had called you, I'm sure we would end up talking and I wouldn't have come at all." In slow movements, Blue Diamond folded up that long piece of cloth and draped it over her arm. "How are you holding up?"

Yellow spit out a bitter laugh. "As if you need to ask."

"I guess it's safe to say we all look and feel like Hell." Blue came a little closer and Yellow freed up a space on the couch for her guest to sit. "You're looking better than I thought you would, Yellow."

The golden queen rolled her eyes, but it wasn't long before both of them looked right at one another again.

"Blue, what in the world am I supposed to say to all of them when this just happened? I'm not ready to see them in yellow. I feel like I'm going to explode. On top of everything, I—"

"I know. That's why I came to tell you that I want to help you. White does too, even if she's too distraught to come and say it for herself. She would give anything to see those traitors pay."

"Then why would she choose me _alone_ of all gems? I'm in charge of technology. Fighting in battles was always _her_ thing."

"Yellow, I agreed with White when she said you were best cut out for the job. You run your sector so efficiently, and if we tried to divide the military between all three of us, White and I would only end up getting in your way. Those gems need a single, clear leader. I have no doubt that you'll figure it out in no time. You always do."

Yellow picked at her nails again, loosening up the scabs as she looked at Blue and chewed her lip.

"How could this happen? She was a _Diamond_."

"I can't believe it either."

Both queens moved their gaze to the perfectly polished tiles that made up the floor. A considerable expanse of time passed before either of them spoke again. Those giant women creaked against Yellow Diamond's giant couch inside that giant, vacant room.

Blue sighed. "I don't even want to say this—but it's just going to burn in my chest until I do. I'm sure you know already, but please be careful. They shattered her and given the chance—" She stopped there and looked back into Yellow's face. "Losing one Diamond is hard enough, but if I lost you I would be even more of a wreck than White is right now. And White would be even more distraught anyway for having lost two Diamonds, and we need you. _I_ need you. After everything that's happened, I'm not ashamed to admit that. I loved Pink. She was wonderful, but—" From those worn eyes, a few tears fell. Blue's expression hardly changed, yet those droplets rolled slowly along her cheeks. Mercilessly, Blue didn't look away; she kept on. "I love you more than anyone, and I'll never forgive you or your murderer if I somehow lose my closest companion."

"Have you come here just to make me cry?" Yellow's vision drowned as the same storm afflicting Blue Diamond's face came onto hers.

"I had to tell you for my own peace of mind. It's been killing me ever since White declared you would take Pink's place, rest her beautiful soul. And I knew she would choose you—but I never once thought that I would have to worry about losing you. Not until now."

Both Diamonds embraced with their mouths touching. Each empress squeezed so hard that her body tensed, and either of them experienced the smell and taste of salt water. They made out and mourned, oddly grateful that neither of them had ended up in thousands of pieces. Both took a bizarre delight in holding one another's shaking bodies, because praise the stars—they were both still _there_.

The blatant favoritism tasted bitter. But once they had started, they couldn't stop, until both of them lied naked on Yellow's couch with dizzy marks speckled across their bodies and tears flowing endlessly. They fucked until they couldn't feel, but their eyes kept leaking. After the consciousness left them, they huddled together nude and helpless beneath Blue Diamond's cloak.

And on another sector of Homeworld, White Diamond wept alone, painfully awake beneath a mountain of blankets, knowing—just like the other two—that things would never be the same again.


	4. Fragments

After hours of experimentation, White Diamond's laboratory had filled with a thin smoke which diluted its bright lights. The colors from the various machines flashed in and out of the scientific fog, and the area remained still, as did White Diamond. She held her head in her hands, looking as though it weighed the most of all her body parts. The bags beneath her eyes hung dark and awful. She had been there forever.

They had _both_ been there forever.

"Maybe we should stop."

With an alarming quickness, White struck Yellow with a glare.

"I don't mean indefinitely."

Silver eyes slid to the floor. "But I feel like we're _so_ close."

Yellow didn't reply.

Above the cold, grey work surface floated a few clear bubbles full of gem shards. Aside from being broken, some showed chemical burns and color changes and scars from where they had been melted. Just one of those spheres reflected yellow. The cold lights hummed from the ceiling.

"We're just missing something. Are you any closer to—"

" _I'm working on it._ "

" _Don't you snap at me._ "

Both Diamonds stared at one another, but in a rare concession, White Diamond set her wrinkled brows back into her open palm. Her whole body inflated with frustration before she gasped it all out. Her opera-singer lungs expelled air a long time.

"I'm not trying to nag, Yellow. I just want her pieces, and I want that traitor Rose Quartz. I need to figure this out, but we both need a break. Go back. We'll meet here again when we're well-rested."

Yellow, too, let out a long breath. "Please promise that you really will leave this laboratory."

White pinched her bottom lip. "Let's go back together." Despite those words, the Snow Queen lingered. Her attention caught on the gem shards while those crazy sharp nails tore up her loose skin.

"White, come on."

The one frozen in place dared her legs into moving and both of them left. The clinical lights and various machines took a while to power down. The electricity disappeared in sections until the entire room went dark. The smell from the experiments clung and imbedded itself deep into the empresses' clothes, and Yellow and White wore it home in silence. _Eau de Sci_ _è_ _nce_ held such potency that it tended to cling for complete solar cycles.

Blue Diamond remarked on Yellow's new perfume as she tried to wash it off.

"My stars—"

Yellow arched her back in response to the aggressive scrubbing.

"I thought you said this was going to be pleasant."

"It _was_ going to be, until you bathed in sulfur, apparently." Blue had turned parts of her lover's flesh a raw golden color. Suddenly, she stopped and sniffed Yellow's hair, only to throw her sponge into the misty waters of her bath. "My stars, why does science have to stink? Yellow, I usually delight in doing this for you, but this is unfair. Surely you know that this is no way for a Diamond to smell."

"Does that mean you're going to stop?"

"I have to. My arms hurt."

"I think you made me bleed."

"I'm sorry." Blue leaned in and kissed Yellow's jaw from the back, beneath her ear. "But I can't allow you to leave here until I'm done with you."

Both of those enormous women settled beside one another, gazes meeting in the in-between. Yellow reached out a hand that landed upon Blue's cheek. Her fingerprints touched delicately the unsightly bags growing beneath her lover's eyes.

Blue leaned into her palm and whispered with the dirtiest parts of her mouth: "I don't want to kiss you right now."

Yellow laughed. "You're such a bitch."

The other empress's face crinkled in amusement. Yellow felt her eyes close and watched as her mouth stretched into a smile. Blue shook in her mirth, and this slight quake transferred into the other Diamond's hand.

Those long lashes brushed against Yellow's prints. Blue had placed her free palm upon her companion's, and they ended up interlocking their fingers.

Then the sun goddess leaned forward and afflicted the tip of Blue's nose with her offensive lips.

"No! You stink!"

Both of them were still laughing. Yellow aimed for her cheek and ended up with the side of her mouth.

" _Yellow—_ "

"What?"

Blue had placed her hand over the other queen's gem and pushed her gently away. Unfortunately, the small distance between them did not account for Yellow's long neck and the golden goddess reached over easily and captured Blue's forehead.

"Stop! You're cheating!"

Somehow, they ended up with one of Blue's hands over Yellow's mouth. Those sunshine lips scrunched into the moon goddess's heartlines and turned her a dark and bashful blue.

Eventually, Yellow took her hand like a lady's.

"I can't believe how dumb you are."

"Let me wash your back."

"Ha! I bet you're going to try and kiss me again."

"Not at all. It's your turn." Yellow's mouth popped against Blue Diamond's wrist, which caused her dainty fingers to curl inward. She delicately touched parts of Yellow' face. "I have to repay you anyway, _for your kindness._ "

"Well, alright." Blue turned around and allowed her lover access to all of her naked back. "I trust you not to be too petty."

"I'll try my best."

Yellow took some of the soap, which smelled of lavender and a mix of other flowers. Perhaps at least something good came of that rotten planet.

Sunny fingers smoothed over the cramps in Blue's shoulders and the ocean queen never complained, even though her partner went deep to untangle her tense muscles.

"Yellow—"

"I'm not actually trying to hurt you."

"It's not that."

Yellow stopped for a moment, with one hand resting flat upon the nape of Blue's neck. Only a few seconds passed before she continued. The ellipses weighed heavy, but neither Diamond acknowledged them.

"How is White holding up?"

The golden goddess paused again. "Not well." Then her thumbs made circles around those shoulder blades. "You know how she is. White won't stop until we make some progress."

"Do you even think…"

"No. I don't think it's possible. Not entirely. But that's an answer she refuses to accept. We'll keep trying, but eventually, White will have to come around. We don't even have her shards."

Blue reached back and placed a hand on Yellow's leg. "How are _you_ holding up?"

She couldn't answer that.

"I can understand why White feels the way she does. I miss Pink too. But those two were always close. Of course they were. White was just ecstatic when Pink emerged. Do you remember when we went to meet her for the first time?"

"White forced us to dress up. 'Yellow, _she's a Diamond_. Show some decorum!' I don't think it would have mattered if we had shown up in the nude. Pink would have been happy to meet us."

Yellow stopped talking and continued to move her fingers. Both she and Blue had done this so many times that it didn't require much focus. As she massaged, the odd drowning feeling rolled in—where panic grew in her stomach and her eyes filled with salt.

Above everything, Blue Diamond spoke: "You're safe, aren't you?" Her voice, which could silence a crowd, appeared little outside her lips.

Yellow replied with the same volume. "Yes. Are you?"

"I'm doing the best I can."

"I don't want you anywhere near that Hell hole."

"I know, but there isn't much of a choice, is there?"

Yellow's arms wrapped around Blue. Gently, they slipped beneath her breasts and held her firmly, until hardly any space remained between them. The Ocean Queen reached upward to clean her cheeks, but because her hands were already wet, nothing came of it. Blue's arms instead came to settle around Yellow's, and both Diamonds remained that way until they couldn't any longer. Their obligations drove them apart.

Yellow had once seen White Diamond holding Pink that way, when they thought they were alone.

Both of them stood near White's enormous window, facing out into the glory of a star-heavy patch of space. All of the light and colors made them appear as silhouettes, and White reached out to touch the youngest on the cheek.

Yellow had come to tell her something or other—about some business matter—about some other planet. Now she stood very quietly in the entrance of White's leisure room, watching as the eldest drew away from the youngest.

White Diamond stepped back. She shook her head and turned away from the other silhouette. Pink's wild hair obscured her face, but Yellow watched as she forcefully claimed White's hand, demanding that the snow empress look at her.

Space shined magical and bright behind them as Pink Diamond stood on her toes to kiss White. Their touch lasted only a short time, but their hands remained clasped together. They faced one another. White gulped and shaped her lips around the other's name.

When Pink drew anywhere near her, White's paper cheeks burned silver. Those wild eyes glowed with fire and the whole goddess unconsciously sparkled. Pink shimmered too.

Their shadows moved closer to one another, fusing into a strange monster that shared one mouth and wrapped all four arms around itself.

They broke the bond between their tongues to laugh. White shook a bit and continued. Sometimes both of them connected at the wrong angle and they had to try again, and in those small moments between the long kisses, they whispered secrets to one another.

Eventually, they ended up facing out into space. White wrapped her arms around Pink and leaned over occasionally to set her lips to one of those rosy cheeks, telling more little truths directly to her ear. Pink Diamond laughed and spoke back, because she had just as much to say.

Yellow finally went away.

The day Pink Diamond left for Earth, White had dressed to the nines to see her off. She slayed in a long, transparent cape that hung from her shoulder pads and tower-high heels that sparkled almost as much as she did. Her bush of wild hair had been tamed, and she wore top-of-the-line bad bitch eyeliner sharp enough to cut.

White killed it holding back tears.

"Pink, you promise me you'll be careful."

"Of course."

"And you'll call us if you need help."

"Yes."

"And—you'll check in at least occasionally to let me know how you are."

"White, don't worry." Pink grasped her hand the same way she did on the balcony that day. "Everything is going to be alright."

White took those powerful arms that held Homeworld and used them to capture the other queen. Their faces touched, and both empresses returned to the four-armed monster they had been, hardly a molecule between them. Pink could barely get out a laugh because White had flattened her lungs in the gravity of her embrace.

"I'm so proud of you," said the voice whose power could shatter glass.

Pink's face blossomed fuchsia and they split apart. White left a hand on the other Diamond's shoulder while she used the other to clean up the few escaped tears. Her elegant fingers did an excellent job of working around her eyeliner.

"My stars, I'm going to miss you."

"White, I won't be gone that long." Pink used the heel of her palm to wipe up her own tears, smearing her eyes shut and turning them red. "Once we get warp pads set up, I'll come back."

"I know you will." With a squeeze of her remaining hand, White Diamond let go. "I'll allow the others to see you off. We have a schedule to adhere to."

The eldest stepped aside to allow Yellow and Blue to wish the youngest farewell. The Snow Empress leaked hot tears and carefully wiped them away. Her controlled face contracted; her plump lips crunched into a thin line, and inevitably, her eyeliner smeared.

Eventually, Pink left behind three Diamonds that would never be four again.

Yellow found White in the laboratory only half a rotation after leaving Blue's bath. The clinical lights shined as brightly as they possibly could and drew out every detail of White Diamond's face. Grey bags went on like abused riverbanks beneath her colorless eyes. Her fat lips were raw and dry, and her regular bush of wild hair had tangled into a tumbleweed. She smelled of sulfur and science and didn't even look up to greet Yellow when she came in. White focused only on the test tube in her hand, which she heated to a boil.

The bubbles were broken and the gem shards were out.

Yellow Diamond smelled heavily of lavender.

"White, how long have you been here?"

The sound choked inside the lab's silence. All the while, White never moved her gaze from her vial of boiling liquid.

"You heard me, didn't you?"

"I think I've made progress. I was able to get them to stick together. I'm working on a better formula now. Would you mind injecting the ones on the table into the rock—"

"White—"

" _What, Yellow?_ "

"How long have you been here?"

Finally, those silver eyes and their unspeakable power met Yellow's. The only sound came from the bubbling liquid between White's fingers.

"I don't know how long it's been. I went back to my chambers and couldn't rest, so I returned here to get some peace of mind. You visited Blue Diamond, didn't you?"

Yellow didn't answer.

"No matter. Will you plant those gem fragments? Please."

Upon the table sat a tray full of broken traitors. Their types and colors varied greatly between one another. White had done her best to paste them together, but with even the tiniest slivers missing, a perfect fit couldn't happen. Some of these gems almost resembled their original forms, even though they wore terrible scars from being stitched together again.

Yellow examined those little creatures in her large hands.

White had come to the table to create more of them. She poured her elixir onto the fragments of a quartz she had torn to bits and worked as they stuck together. Though the burn marks appeared less severe, the gem still had seams where it had been sewn.

"White."

" _What?_ "

A long gulp passed down Yellow's golden neck.

White continued: "I know they're not aesthetically pleasing, but let's see what happens."

"I don't think this is going to work."

The other empress merely stared.

"Even if we manage to get her shards, we would need every piece of her. Have you considered making another Pink—"

" _I don't want another Pink Diamond._ I _want_ the Pink Diamond those traitors shattered. I want the Pink Diamond that _remembers me_ —the one that remembers _you_ and Blue and everything we had—" White gasped in her tears. "You don't even care, do you?"

"White—"

"Of course you don't think it's going to work. You haven't been here, trying to get these _fragments_ to stick together. And why would you come here? _You still have Blue Diamond—_ "

" _White Diamond, please!_ "

"You never cared for her! _That's why you can so casually suggest we just make another one!_ As if she would be the same! _What if it were you?_ " Grey smoke poured from one side of her mouth. "At this point I wish it had been."

Yellow took a step back and watched as White's face washed over in smoke. Her weeping bounced against the empty walls of the cold laboratory as the other Diamond stared on.

Yellow dried her own tears. "I know you loved her more than Blue or me, but how could you say I never cared for her? I loved her too. _We all did._ I'm just not delusional enough to believe I can bring her back from the dead. _This is a waste of time._ "

White cleared her steam. "I have to try."

"You're smarter than this!"

A long pause followed in which both empresses beat her feelings into submission and cleaned the evidence from her cheeks.

Out of the aftermath, White spoke first: "If you're not going to help me, you can leave."

"Fine." Yellow replied, and indeed, left.

Neither spoke to one another for a while after that. In the turmoil, time distorted. The Diamonds did their jobs and communicated only through short messages.

Revenge required a lot of time.

Yet one day, after an exhaustive strain of shifts, Yellow travelled to Pink Diamond's palace, where many gems had come to mourn. Her statues had been covered in flowers. Her chambers rang with silence.

Yellow hadn't come with any offering for her fellow Goddess's grave; she merely carried the echo of her footsteps down the empty halls, but when she came to the innermost sanctum of that abandoned temple, sound bounced between the walls. The air carried words written in an ancient language, wafting upon the highest of notes.

Yellow had heard this song before; she may have even tried to sing it, though she couldn't match the sounds currently floating around the chamber. Her voice never reached quite high enough. Yet, those difficult tones drifted along as if they weighed nothing. Their bodies were light and perfect and sad.

White sang to Pink Diamond's statue, which nearly matched her original height. The music poured from her impressive lungs; she always made it look so easy. Those notes, in their notorious difficulty, entered the blood stream and shot straight to the chest, accumulating there until the final cry came softly and sweetly. Unlike many of White's favorite songs, this one did not end with an impossible explosion to belt out. The climax grasped the heart strings gently and floated away.

But this time, it didn't. The empress of empresses choked and cut the final note before it would leave her body. Instead, the sound burned inside her, where it produced cruel tears. Yellow watched as White cleaned them, one by one.

Sometimes, with no shame at all, Pink would kiss White right on the cheek. She made a game of turning her face silver.

If any of the others ever tried such a trick, White would have taken one of her long legs and kicked them in half, or at least chewed them out. But Pink made White chase her around her palace. Pink made White's expression awash in blush. Pink made White sing.

The Snow Queen never turned to look at her, and Yellow didn't visit Pink Diamond's statue.

They spoke shortly after that, when White Diamond called from her chambers.

"Yellow…" Her voice started, but static finished.

The golden goddess replied anyway: "White, how are you holding up?"

"I'm sorry for what I said. I don't wish it were you. I wouldn't wish this on any of us. I'm in a lot of pain. Can you forgive me?"

She sounded more like a beaten animal than the queen of Homeworld.

"I know you spoke out of anger."

"Do you forgive me, then?"

Yellow's response took some time. "I do."

On the other end, White's dry lips coiled. The gears of her throat made a lot of noise as they went about making words. "Yellow, I love you. I love Blue Diamond too. I love all of you. I loved what we were…"

Static washed in.

"I love you too, White."

"Do you forgive me?"

Yellow crinkled her brows. " _Yes._ "

"I just can't believe this. I can't believe we've lost a Diamond." White sniffled on the other side and wiped her nose with the back of her hand. "It should have been me. I've lived long enough."

" _Don't say that._ "

"Can you come back to the laboratory? I've made some progress and I need your opinion."

" _White—_ "

"I still want to try and bring her back, but that's not what I'm asking you about. Just meet me there and we'll talk."

"Fine. I'll see you soon."

White hung up and Yellow sighed.

Both of them met at the laboratory.

The elder empress arrived first and placed all of her experiments upon the table—shards that had been glued back together through various means. White Diamond herself wore a special brand of exhaustion that drank up her beauty and made severe lines upon her face. The bags beneath her eyes deepened. Her forehead owned a set of perpetual crinkles, and her hair—which leaned toward disarray on a normal day—created a thorn bush.

The laboratory hadn't been cleaned in a while.

Burn marks and chemical spills decorated the table and floor. The room smelled terrible from the reactions of various elements, and a dense gas polluted the air. Everything appeared hazy inside this unnatural fog.

White cleared her throat: "I wanted to show you what I've been working on."

The gem shards shined dully beneath the light.

"I was able to make them bond together fairly well. Hopefully you can help me with the solution I'm using. You were always very gifted in chemistry, but that's not actually what I wanted to show you." She moved to the corner of the laboratory, where one of her clear bubbles floated. Despite being several meters apart, Yellow made out the two-toned gem inside that Crystal sphere.

White set the experiment free and placed it on the table amongst its sisters.

"Is that—"

"It is two different gems. And look—"

A bright light emerged from the creature's body—forming a long, slender arm attached to a bulbous foot. It dragged itself across the table in short distances by slapping its palm down and rolling up its boney fingers. The heel then made one clumsy hop forward before falling over and undulating in frustration.

White Diamond laughed. "Look at this stupid thing, Yellow. _It moves._ I got it to move."

That little monster flapped around on the table, disrupting many of the other shards as it tried to regain balance. Eventually, it landed flat and remained still for several seconds.

Yellow couldn't speak.

"I know. It's sick, isn't it? This creature is grotesque. It's disgusting. I can't believe those rebels pushed me to make something so twisted, but look—I made life from broken gems. I'm one step closer to getting Pink Diamond back—we just need her shards, Yellow. With a few more experiments, we might be able to—no, I _know_ we can bring back a fully functioning gem. We're so close—"

Yellow looked down at the creature, which had made a little progress against the cold table. Something talked her glove into picking it up, and the amalgamation panicked at the touch. It wriggled like a worm and tried to escape, but then settled after several seconds. The fingers of its hand came to grasp just one of Yellow's.

The golden goddess grimaced. "I can't imagine a worse fate."

White didn't reply. She merely looked on with sleepless eyes that had recorded countless horrors.

"Let's shatter those rebels and make them into these creatures, since they love fusion so much."

"Yellow, I'm so glad you think so. I wasn't sure what you would say." White embraced the other Diamond. Little space lied between them and Yellow could smell every chemical that had gotten onto her. She wreaked of fire and science and exhaustion, and now fresh salt water tears. "I want to hurt them so badly. Nothing would satisfy me more, than to watch them suffer. They deserve to writhe for what they've done to her. _For what they've done to us._ "

White's body grew hot with revenge.

The creature squirmed inside Yellow's glove and the golden queen remained still. Her stone must have clouded over with White's warmth.

"I never knew I could be in so much pain." Her fire cooled, only for a moment. "Let's send those traitors to Hell. I won't smile again, until I know they're burning."

Yellow finally wrapped her arms around White. In doing so, she dissipated the monster's form. Both of them held on tightly and remained that way a long time. White shook as she decorated Yellow's shoulder with salty tears and bitter memories of happier times—when a pink balloon of glittery joy used to be tied around her wrist.

The heat of White Diamond's rage caused more droplets to boil inside Yellow's eyes.

The sunshine spoke to the snow and the white-hot flame: "Let's make it so they never know happiness again."

And White Diamond grasped her tightly.


	5. Hairbrush

Yellow Diamond hadn't stopped typing all day. From the moment she arrived in her office, her fingers hadn't left her screen, nor her keypad. If she ever rested, it was only to read another message taken from her wealth of never-ending mission reports. They stretched on and on in columns, each bold and glowing. The symbols that composed their titles blurred into meaningless lines and corners, rife with the usual typos and odd punctuation. Looking at them all, Yellow's eyes dried in the nonstop light, and just as she finished one and opened another, an incoming call from Blue Diamond overtook her machine. Yellow answered immediately.

"Blue, what is it?" Despite the image of the other empress's face taking up an ample amount of space, Yellow drew out more and continued working, the sound of her clacking a constant addition to the conversation.

"Yellow, I need to run an errand. Can you tend to White today?"

The golden woman stopped typing immediately and shot the other Diamond with her full attention. "I don't have time to 'tend to White.' Furthermore, why can't White tend to herself? She has Pearls, doesn't she? What in the world would _I_ need to go for?"

"Yellow, _please. It's your turn_. You haven't gone to visit her in ages."

"I don't see why I should go at all. I have enough responsibilities and baby-sitting a Diamond who's perfectly capable of taking care of herself shouldn't be one of them."

Blue placed her hand over her face and exhaled from deep inside her chest while Yellow's typing continued.

"Please, Yellow. You don't have to visit for that long. Just go and talk to her for a short while. Maybe you could brush her hair. She seems to like that."

Yellow buried her face in her palms and drug them across her features, as if running a rake through dirt. "Fine. I'll go. It's not as though I had a thousand other things to do today."

Before Blue could respond, Yellow hung up and closed all of her screens, leaving both her Pearl and her control room.

The door to White Diamond's chambers had developed some rust where both sides came apart, and the button that would call her attention had faded around the edges with its light having grown dim. An arm crossed behind her back, Yellow pressed it inward as far as it would go until her glove crinkled and complained.

Even from the inside, the sound echoed, but for many long seconds, nothing came of the ring aside from a surrounding silence and the impatient adjustment of Yellow's boots. Just as she reached out to press it again, the doors banged open with a kind of desperation—they moved far too quickly and loudly, as if awoken with a jolt.

Yellow looked immediately to one of White's many Pearls, who stood quivering while presenting a salute. The perfectly round gem upon her forehead shone iridescent colors even within the dim lights of the chamber, and despite chewing up the side of her cheek in temptation, she did not speak.

"Is she lying in her room?"

The Pearl nodded and Yellow Diamond needed no more before following the path to White's innermost chamber. She walked along a series of old rugs that had faded over the millennia, where both Diamonds and Pearls had set their feet and trampled out the pattern and color. Now most of the rugs and even the art reflected back an unpleasant grey from both age and unrestrained dust.

The further Yellow travelled, the older the relics became, until she reached the eldest of them, lying in a room rife with ancient tomes that littered the floor, as well as a malfunctioning screen that hovered open before her. It displayed a series of images and words that flashed across her face. The picture of an old mission report blurred and scrambled before coming back together every few seconds, and despite the fact that Yellow stood directly behind it and well within White's line of sight, the ancient empress didn't move to greet the other Diamond. Her half-lidded eyes didn't even bother blinking.

Upon closer inspection, they had developed a crust around the edges, as had her plump and cracked lips.

"White?" Yellow's tone emerged sharply. " _Have you died?_ "

Almost as if answering, the empress's body filled with a breath. Her form expanded around the boundaries of her still beautiful clothes, as if she had collapsed in a drug-filled stupor after a soiree and never bothered getting back up. Despite this brief reaction, however, her attention never strayed from the message. Her breath merely occurred a little more loudly, as if something had blocked either her nasal passage or throat.

"Blue asked me to come check on you. I'm not sure why, but she told me to brush your hair, and probably clean some of the spittle from your mouth."

White made a slow blink as her screen flashed. Upon her vanity well across the room, Yellow caught the sight of a hair brush, its bristles bursting with one enormous snow-colored hair ball. With measured steps, she stepped over the books and the bent and crinkled papers, only to rip the old strands out and toss them onto the scrambled floor where they nearly disappeared within the dust.

White's normally wild hair had grown severely tangled, like angry vines overtaking a wall, but if they also possessed several dead leaves that had never escaped. Staring into White's long and ruined locks, she found a time-consuming puzzle to solve, but sat upon the eldest empress's mattress anyway with a hard sigh. Her well-kept brows bunched into knots.

The sudden additional weight shifted her around, but White Diamond only managed to create a gasp.

"Why don't you have your Pearls do this for you? As if Blue and I don't have enough to contend with." Yellow sank the bristles in near White's scalp and attempted to draw them through, but like wheels stuck in a muddy trench, they hardly budged. Her lungs exhaled violently before she continued speaking, "Are you really going to lay here like this for the rest of eternity?" Instead of taking the brush from the tangles, Yellow attempted to push them through and made little progress. She could practically hear a few hairs ripping from White's scalp. "Are you even listening to me?"

White didn't respond and Yellow tore her way through, becoming stuck again closer to the ends. "How does your hair even get this bad, White?" Her words escaped just as she forced the last of the knots through the old bristles of the brush, only to start over a few centimeters away. "I wonder if you don't roll around on that pillow on purpose. How else would it possibly get this way? This is absolutely absurd."

Yellow tore her way through another section.

"Forget the Pearls doing it—you could do this by yourself if you would only get up. How long would it take you to walk to your vanity, sit down, and brush your hair? I suppose even a few seconds are just too much for you." Yellow began tugging her way through the next strands, pushing with both hands to the end of the point, as though she were scrubbing a stubborn patch of floor. The same sounds occurred again, the ripping, along with the faint noise of strings breaking, but Yellow continued. "How did you conquer all of those planets so many millennia ago with no one to brush your hair for you? No wonder you're so exhausted. It must have been _impossible._ Nothing like managing the same empire with one Diamond who won't stop crying and another one who won't even move. How _did_ you endure?" Yellow grunted as she forced through and ended up removing entire strands. " _This is damned ridiculous_ ," her precise fingers cleaned out the brush again and threw the balled up, tangled waste onto the floor.

But as she turned back to White, she found the other Diamond with tears in her eyes and an uneven breath wracking her lungs. Those silver eyes still couldn't meet her gold, and the reaction happened almost in physicality alone. She still didn't turn from the screen while her body began to sob, nor did she cover her face to hide its ugly bends or the unpleasant shape of her open mouth. Even her weeping barely included the use of her voice, and came out on several unsteady heaves and choking gasps.

Yellow remained still and watched a few moments too long, until finally setting the brush upon the bed and releasing a long sigh from the very base of her stomach. Her arms remained lowered with a new sort of heaviness and a numb tingling at the tips of each finger. Her brows dropped about as low as her heart, which had sunk well into a pit of acid and butterflies.

"White, look at me."

The eldest continued to cry, and the bags beneath Yellow's eyes grew infinitely vaster.

"White."

Her words didn't come through.

Yellow emptied out her lungs again and placed her hands upon White's face. She moved gently and took the tears, as well as some of the crust from her eyes. "I'm sorry."

The oldest Diamond cried a little harder and Yellow stroked a few fingers past freshly brushed hair.

"It's been hard without you." She closed her hand around a collection of locks as if holding a bouquet of flowers and moved it to the end until her fingers balled up into a loose fist. "You need to stop moping like this. It's killing both of us." She started over again and wove her digits in.

Predictably, White didn't respond, but her breathing did grow softer and her weeping ceased. Yellow's hand had created a consistent rhythm and a soothing sound with the way her fingers drifted through her hair, and eventually, White closed her eyes, never having turned to look at Yellow.

Keeping her hand moving, the golden woman reached her other arm over to turn off the screen and a kind of heaviness took the most of Yellow as soon as it went quiet. There was only the sound of White's soft inhaling and exhaling, and of the makeshift comb against her straightened hair.

Eventually, Yellow laid down herself, taking up a space behind White. She wrapped her arms around the other empress and held her close as they released air in unison.

"I can't stay for long," she shut her lashes.

And in the silence surrounding their quiet breathing, White touched one of Yellow's hands and slid their fingers together.


End file.
